Warning: Lack of Common Sense Could Kill You
By Trent Loos
Last week I was driving through Kansas and stopped near Wichita to fill my car with gas. I noticed a label on the pump. "Warning: Talking on cell phone during fueling could be dangerous." So, as always, I asked the attendant if the warning was serious or some kind of joke. She explained to me that because a cell phone produces static electricity, it could possibly ignite when mixed with fumes from the pump.According to this young lady, one person had died in a huge explosion while fueling up and simultaneously talking on their cell phone.
As I continued on this driving excursion, I thought about all of the ridiculous warning labels I have seen or heard about:
- McDonald's coffee: "Warning: Contents may be hot."
- Electric router made for carpenters: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."
- Sleeping pills: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
- A cartridge for a laser printer: "Do not eat toner."
- A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow: "Not intended for highway use."
- American Airlines peanuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."
- Nabisco Easy Cheese: "For best results remove cap."
- Rowenta Iron: "Warning: Never iron clothes on body."
- And my favorite from a Swedish chainsaw maker: "Warning, do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
It makes me wonder about some of these important labels I've never seen:
- "Warning: Looking directly into the sun could cause blindness."
- "Warning: Swallowing unlimited water during swimming could be fatal."
- "Direct contact with an oncoming train could be dangerous," should clearly be posted on the front of every train.
- Even bears should have a label, "Warning: I would prefer to have you for lunch than to join you for lunch."
With all of the obesity negligence in this country and the "concerned citizens" who want to put an end to it, it is just a matter of time until hamburgers are required to have warning labels. "Warning: Contains fat and if you don't exercise after eating, you could become fat yourself." If burgers could be considered dangerous and these ridiculous labeling laws are pursued, we will probably need a nurse in every food establishment in the country. If you order meat of any kind, the nurse will draw your blood to check your health status. According to the standards of some higher power, if you are healthy enough to eat meat, you may return in seven days to have dinner. In the mean time, you can forage on some plant-based diet.
Before long, the warning section of the menu will be longer than the list of items you can eat. If only people could comprehend a few simple things like: If it comes from the stove/grill/oven/coffee maker/pit of boiling grease, etc., it is probably HOT! If it is served on or in glass, you could cut yourself if - it breaks. If you use the fork to poke anything but your food, it will hurt. Knives are sharp. Don't put food into any body parts besides your mouth. Don't eat anything bigger than your head.
So what has happened to our sense of responsibility or just plain ole' common sense? With multi-million dollar lawsuits, jury verdicts of ridiculous proportions and people's burning desire to land on the winning end of a jury's verdict, the incentive to take responsibility for your own stupidity has gone out the window. Perhaps our legal system is flawed in that it encourages people to file these suits for huge claims. In other countries, if the plaintiff loses, they pay the defendant the amount they were suing for. This might just bring this frivolity of get-rich quick schemes to a screeching halt.
A little common sense would go a long way in solving many of these problems but common sense is just not that common anymore. Perhaps we should require doctors, immediately after a child is born, to get out a tattoo set and imprint his forehead the following: "Warning: Lack of common sense could kill you." With this in place, the person would be reminded every morning to use their head for something besides a hat rack.
